Well-Being at Stanford: Relationships
Recommended reading across wellness topics selected by Stanford's Vaden Health Center Well-Being staff.
Relationships
- Attached by Amir Levine; Rachel HellerIs there a science to love? In this groundbreaking book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel S. F. Heller reveal how an understanding of attachment theory-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love. Attachment theory forms the basis for many bestselling books on the parent/child relationship, but there has yet to be an accessible guide to what this fascinating science has to tell us about adult romantic relationships-until now. Attachment theory owes its inception to British psychologist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby, who in the 1950s examined the tremendous impact that our early relationships with our parents or caregivers has on the people we become. Also central to attachment theory is the discovery that our need to be in a close relationship with one or more individuals is embedded in our genes. In Attached, Levine and Heller trace how these evolutionary influences continue to shape who we are in our relationships today. According to attachment theory, every person behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways: *ANXIOUS people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back. *AVOIDANT people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness. *SECURE people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving. Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mates) follow. It also offers readers a wealth of advice on how to navigate their relationships more wisely given their attachment style and that of their partner. An insightful look at the science behind love, Attached offers readers a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections.
- Forgive for Good by Frederic LuskinResults from Dr. Fred Luskin's Stanford University Forgiveness Project, one of the largest and most important studies on forgiveness ever conducted, show that learning how to forgive improves our emotional and physical well-being. Holding onto resentment or hurt disrupts our personal and professional lives, leads to bad decision-making, and releases stress chemicals that can have a negative effect on our health. Yet all too many of us clutch our grievances and give away our power by remaining victims of the people who have hurt us. By teaching us how to forgive, this book enables us to move beyond being a victim to a life of improved health and contentment. Based on scientific research, this groundbreaking study from the frontiers of psychology and medicine offers startling new insight into the healing powers of forgiveness. Through vivid examples (including his work with victims from both sides of Northern Ireland's civil war), Dr. Fred Luskin offers a proven nine-step forgiveness method. Participants in Stanford University's Forgiveness Project experienced: Decrease in feelings of hurt Reduction in the physical symptoms of stress, including backache, muscle aches, dizziness, and upset stomach Increase in optimism Reduction in long-term experience of angera significant risk factor for cardiovascular disease Forgive for Good distills the essential elements of Dr. Luskin's forgiveness training into an accessible guide for overcoming the negative effects of anger, bitterness, and resentment by gaining control of our feelings. Forgiveness does not mean condoning the behavior of those who have hurt us. Forgiveness is a choice that we make to release our past and heal our present.
- A General Theory of Love by Thomas Lewis; Fari Amini; Richard LannonDrawing on new scientific discoveries and seventy years of collective clinical experience, three psychiatrists unravel life's most elemental mystery: the nature of love. A primordial area of the brain, far older than reason or thinking, creates both the capacity and the need for emotional intimacy that all humans share. A General Theory of Love describes the workings of this ancient, pivotal urge and reveals that our nervous systems are not self-contained. Instead, our brains link with those of the people close to us, in a silent rhythm that makes up the very life force of the body. These wordless and powerful ties determine our moods, stabilize and maintain our health and well-being, and change the structure of our brains. In consequence, who we are and who we become depend, in great part, on whom we love. A General Theory of Love applies these and other extraordinary insights to some of the most crucial issues we face in our lives. Its authors explain how relationships function and where love goes wrong, how parents shape a child's developing self, how psychotherapy really works, what curbs and what fosters violent aggression in our children, and how modern society regularly courts disaster by flouting emotional laws it does not yet recognize. A work of rare originality, passion, and eloquence, A General Theory of Love will forever change the way you think about human intimacy.
- Getting the Love You Want: a Guide for Couples: Third Edition by Harville Hendrix; Helen LaKelly HuntTheNew York Times bestselling guide to transforming an intimate relationship into a lasting source of love and companionship, now fully revised with a new forward and a brand new chapter. Getting the Love You Want has helped millions of people experience more satisfying relationships and is recommended every day by professional therapists and happy couples around the world. Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt explain how to revive romance and remove negativity from daily interactions, to help you: · Discover why you chose your mate · Resolve the power struggle that prevents greater intimacy · Learn to listen - really listen - to your partner · Increase fun and laughter in your relationship · Begin healing early childhood experiences by stretching into new behaviors · Become passionate friends with your partner · Achieve a common vision of your dream relationship Become the most connected couple you know with this revolutionary guide, combining behavioral science, depth psychology, social learning theory, Gestalt therapy, and interpersonal neuroscience to help you and your partner recapture joy, enhance closeness, and experience the reward of a deeply fulfilling relationship.
- Pleasure Activism by Adrienne Maree BrownHow do we make social justice the most pleasurable human experience? How can we awaken within ourselves desires that make it impossible to settle for anything less than a fulfilling life? Editor Adrienne Maree Brown finds the answer in something she calls 'Pleasure Activism,' a politics of healing and happiness that explodes the dour myth that changing the world is just another form of work. Drawing on the black feminist tradition the contributors to this volume take up the challenge to rethink the ground rules of activism.
- Why Won't You Apologize? by Harriet Lerner"If you want to know why Harriet Lerner is one of my great heroes, Why Won't You Apologize? is the answer. This book is a game changer." --Brené Brown, PhD, LMSW, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Rising Strong "Harriet Lerner is one hell of a wise woman. She draws you in with deft and engaging prose, and then changes your life with her rigorous intelligence and her deeply human advice. I promise that you will never see 'the apology' in quite the same way." --Esther Perel, MA, LMFT author of Mating in Captivity Renowned psychologist and bestselling author of The Dance of Anger sheds new light on the two most important words in the English language--I'm sorry--and offers a unique perspective on the challenge of healing broken connections and restoring trust. Dr. Harriet Lerner has been studying apologies--and why some people won't give them--for more than two decades. Now she offers compelling stories and solid theory that bring home how much the simple apology matters and what is required for healing when the hurt we've inflicted (or received) is far from simple. Readers will learn how to craft a deeply meaningful "I'm sorry" and avoid apologies that only deepen the original injury. Why Won't You Apologize? also addresses the compelling needs of the injured party--the one who has been hurt by someone who won't apologize, tell the truth, or feel remorse. Lerner explains what drives both the non-apologizer and the over-apologizer, as well as why the people who do the worst things are the least able to own up. She helps the injured person resist pressure to forgive too easily and challenges the popular notion that forgiveness is the only path to peace of mind. With her trademark humor and wit, Lerner offers a joyful and sanity-saving guide to setting things right.
- Gender
- Leadership and career
- Mental health
- Mindfulness and meditation
- Physical health
- Relationships
- Black Futures / Black Liberation
Well-Being at the library
Stanford Libraries is proud to support the Well-Being at Stanford program which aims to empower individuals and communities to flourish through education, connection and positive culture change. Use the red menu to browse print and e-book titles available at the Libraries. Click on a book's title to view the SearchWorks catalog to access or request the items.
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- Last Updated: Aug 28, 2023 4:11 PM
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